This one’s for the girls!
To my body: I am so sorry for the way I spoke to you. I’ve spent years upon years looking at you in the mirror and focusing on your flaws. I have had thoughts and said things out loud that I wouldn’t say to my worst enemy, yet I treat you like one. I pushed you to the brink. I didn’t let you rest when you felt weary. I wouldn’t stop the cleanse when you raged against it. I wouldn’t stop with the coffee when you needed sleep. I picked you apart, compared you to every other woman, and expected you to shrink after growing a human. I cursed the stretch marks. I cried over the scale. I judged you. I berated you. All to try to live up to a standard set by no one, but copied by everyone. I haven’t been proud of you, of your progress, of your beauty, or of your gains.
Women, apologize to your body for the way you’ve treated her. You’ve consistently pushed her past the breaking point to please others or the imaginary version you think she should be. Your body is a blessing. It is beautiful. It needs rest, restoration, sweat, and hydration (water, not always wine). Be kind to your body, she is your only one.
To my mind: I am so sorry for the pressure. I continued to let the doubt and negativity overpower you. I let the ideas of not being good enough, smart enough, outgoing enough, to stop you from your biggest desires. I tampered down the flame. I kept you quiet when you wanted to be loud. I kept you conforming to the social circle around you instead of letting you blossom to the woman you were meant to be. I let in fear, doubt, and overwhelm in on the daily and I let you believe it. I was wrong. I became a slave to the thoughts of comparison and envy. I apologize.
Women, consider your thoughts. Thoughts are simply words that come across your mind throughout the day and you do not have to believe them. Your mind has a choice. Our thoughts are influenced by our circle, our family, our work. We must stand guard of your mind and what you ingest. With social media and television, we have lost our ability to sit quietly with our thoughts and explore what is true and what is not. What goes on in your mind is stopping you from becoming the best version of yourself that God has uniquely made you to be. Every time you want to speak up but don’t because no one else is, when you don’t sit at the table because there is no one that looks like you sitting there, when you don’t wear the dress because no one dresses up at work, you are dimming your light.
To my soul: I am so sorry for putting you on the back burner, for putting everyone else’s needs ahead of you, for telling you you’re selfish. I heard you crying out for change. I heard your boredom, your gentle tug of excitement to try something, and would quickly suffocate you with tasks to be done: laundry, meal prep, more work, and less fun. I told you to suck it up and suffer when you wanted to quit the job and I forced you to the shadows in days of doubt. I apologize for denying you were a priority.
Women, we must put our souls first. You must make sure you are listening to your inner knowing that is screaming to get out. Feel like taking the day off to sunbathe and avoid laundry? Please do. Want to start an online business but don’t know how? Search Google for 15 minutes today. Want to work out but don’t want to take more time away from the family? Take a walk. Take those babies to the gym daycare. Fill your cup. Your soul’s deepest desires are there calling you to try new things, to do things for yourself. Remember, they are your desires and not your sisters. You are unique in your body, your mind, and your soul. Your life will look different, your soul will need something different, and you are not wrong for wanting to pursue it. Do you want that job that you don’t feel qualified for? Do you want to try that fitness class but feel embarrassed? Do you want to try knitting? Try all the things. Dream, discover, fail, and explore.
As women, we are born to please. We are in a race to see how many commitments we can accomplish, how successful we can be at a career, how fit we can be, all while having a spotless house, perfectly groomed children and a dog, cook a few meals, and clip coupons. Let me ask you something. Who the hell made up these rules? And why are we complying? My house is full of dog hair and boy smells. I don’t cook, ask my husband. I dropped out of two clubs and I actually told people no recently without a gigantic apology and explanation as to why. On three different occasions (teens, 20s, and 30s) I had a time where I would break out in hives because of anxiety, ultimately questioning if I was enough. I’ve taken prescriptions for anxiety and weight loss at different times. I have made horrible mistakes, I have failed, and I have been a crappy friend. I am far from the end of the work that needs to be done on myself. This will be a lifelong journey. . I feel lucky to have discovered these nuggets a few years ago. The wish I have is that you will also realize, this is a journey. You will see that life is precious, your body is beautiful, and you’re made for more. We should be shining a light on women and girls who are carving their own way, who are building empires, or quietly enjoying a life well lived. Let’s start celebrating the individuality and support each other in the journey.
