As you open the crisp, blank pages to a new planner, you smell the fresh paper. Your brand-new Jetstream pen is primed and ready to go. You’ve drank the water and taken a Tylenol from the NYE champagne from last night. There’s a highlighter and colored pens nearby, because this is the year you stay organized. This year will be different; you will hit these goals, you’ll make more money, you’ll lose 20 pounds, you’ll spend evenings playing with your kids, and you’ll ditch your poor scrolling technology habit. You’ll pay off the debt. You’ll write the book. You’ll start the business. You’ll take a vacation. And this planner will be full of epic wisdom, checkmarks, and perfectly color-coded calendars. Sound familiar? Yeah, me too.
Fast forward to March 1st, a mere 58 days later. Those fresh highlighters have gone to the kids’ drawer, the planner is buried in a bag in the closet, and the idea of paying this damn gym membership for a month and not even going seems ridiculous. Cancel it. The dog chewed up the purple-colored pen, and there’s a stain on the carpet to prove it. I’ve failed. It’s only been a few months and I failed, so might as well wash my hands of it and just be happy with the way things are. We’re supposed to be grateful for what we have, right?! Yep, that’s me, content and happy with my life, so I don’t need those new year’s resolutions or goals. Sound familiar? Yeah, me too.
Listen up, I am not here to tell you to make drastic changes in your life and that you need to change your life to be fulfilled. The fact is you don’t! But you do have to make progress because progress = happiness. There is a balance between being grateful for the life you have—for the health, the family, and the job—and then striving to make progress in each of these areas. New Year’s Resolutions and goal setting can be about progress, not perfection. Take the pressure off your perfection-chasing mentality.
News flash: you will never make 100% of the shots you call, but you can guarantee you’ll miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Let’s try something different for 2021. It starts with a new mentality. The reasons the past years haven’t lasted more than 30 days isn’t because you set bad goals; you didn’t fail. It’s because you didn’t do the pre-op work. Here’s the best way to start fresh with goal setting: prepare for roadblocks, set yourself up for success, and finally move forward to progress.
Mindset – The most important weapon in your arsenal is creating the mindset that is open to your best life and vision. You must learn to control it. You must first become aware of the things you are telling yourself. You become what you focus on; focusing on all the things that will prevent you from achieving your goals will, in fact, come true and you’ll find yourself saying, “I knew this would happen.” While you need to prepare for the possible roadblocks, you must stay unwavering on the goal. You can manifest failure, and you can manifest success. If you get to choose, why wouldn’t you choose to be focused on the positive?
- • Start each day with a positive mindset vision exercise. Every single day, you’re going to have to rebuild and strengthen this muscle. This needs to be a written statement or paragraph of a detailed description of your ideal life. This needs to be a stretch from where you are today but not a departure from reality. This is 1 to 10 statements about how you are living your best life. Be specific, be detailed. These statements should all start with “I am” and should be written in present tense. They are yours, so you can’t be judged – go crazy.
Roadblocks – Guess what? No one cares about your goals. Yes, you read that right. No one will care about your goals. You are not required to share them (although I recommend your family build and share together). You will not be posting these on social media. If you choose to share, and as you start to grow, you will inevitably hear from your boss, your best friend, and your mom. They will likely say, “That’s cute” with a sarcastic attitude or, “Why are you setting a goal to pay off the car? Everyone has car debt.” “That’s stupid; you’ll never skydive.” Recognize that most are not maliciously trying to ruin your life, but they are going to throw shade. Mainly, this is because having the gumption to write down a goal is scary. It’s a promise you are making to yourself to do something new, hard, or out of your comfort zone. People around you may not like that, because if you do, that may mean they will feel that means they have to change. Hence why mindset was rule number one. If you are not mentally prepared for this, you can bet this will be a roadblock or a full-on collision. Other things will occur that you have zero control over, and if you cannot go back to your vision statements and see WHY you are putting yourself back on course, you will inevitably quit. (Hello, Coronavirus. UGH!!) When this happens, expect it, and then get back on course. Let me ask you this. If you run into a road closed on I-24 headed to Florida, do you say, “Oh well, I guess this trip wasn’t meant to be.”? No! You find a different way to get there. Same is true with your goals. Expect the detours and plan for them.
You are now prepared to start your goal journey. Please remember this is a lifestyle. A process I hope you learn to fall in love with. It’s not the completion of the goal that makes for fulfillment and happiness; it’s the person you become in the process. Your days will go by, and the year will turn anyway. Why wouldn’t you run wild to the things that set your soul on fire?
Now, take the next 30 days to practice mindset, and next month we’ll set the goals with our 7 categories of a full life. You are worth it. Are you ready?
