“You’re crazy.”
“You’re pushing too hard.”
“You’ll never be able to do all of that.”
“You’ll never finish that.”
“That’s dumb.”
“Here’s all the reasons that it won’t work…”
Have you heard these statements before? If you have, I want to sit with you for a second and tell you that I am sorry. Your goals and dreams, once shared with another person, are subject to scrutiny and judgement that is usually well-intentioned but creates doubt. This doubt can fester and make you question your own capabilities. The truth is, the circle you choose to share with, surround yourself with, and look to for support, is a critical key in success – financially, professionally, and personally.
“You are an average of the five people you surround yourself with.” – Jim Rohn.
Who we choose to associate with is key in our development. If you are not careful, you’ll have other’s fear of their own insecurities take hold of your dreams. There will always be some of those people in our lives, and I don’t believe just cutting people out is possible. I do, however, believe you must have these five people in your corner.
- 1. The Cheerleader:
This person is someone who encourages. They’ll be the reliable source of support and one of your biggest fans. You can count on their positivity. When you are drowning in doubt, they’ll be there pick you up.
- 2. The Motivator:
This person inspires. This person may be ahead of you in your journey, and they are always willing to lend a hand or offer advice. They do big things, but they inspire you because they show you what is possible inside of you, too.
- 3. The Safe Space:
This is the protector. This person is someone you are 100% comfortable with and can allow you to be yourself with zero judgement. They listen. They usually let you fall apart and then can assist in building you back up.
- 4. The Challenger:
This person will question you. They are not afraid to tell you how it is and, maybe, where you are missing the boat. They could be your opposite and can offer another point of view. They help you see your blind-spots, and while their honest advice might be uncomfortable at times, it is paramount to your growth.
- 5. The Coach:
This is your push. This is someone who gets you out of your comfort zone with encouragement to try new things. They’ll be the first to try the new experience with you and offer a nudge to the unknown. They often see in you more than you see in yourself.
I’ve been so lucky to find these people in my circle over the years, and some people serve in more than one capacity (thanks, Mom 😉). They are a key role in my life and journey, so I make it a point to share with those five my biggest goals and dreams. If you are lucky enough to have just two of those, be grateful. What if you don’t? If you haven’t developed a circle of support, then how do you begin to build it? You start. You get involved. Find people with similar interests, join a group, network, social media – there are ways. Making connections as an adult is way harder than our playground years, but you are capable. No excuses. It might be awkward; do it anyway.
There will be nay-sayers in your life, and they will be loud. Here’s the thing. It may be family members, it may be childhood friends, it may be coworkers. You need to smile at them, but recognize their insecurities. Remember this as you share in the future.
Positivity and support are non-negotiable for me, so if you are spewing your fears on my dreams, then our conversations will be limited to pleasantries of the weather and kids. Your dreams and goals are reserved for the ones who have your best interest at heart. They have your back. They know that things will go off course, and they will put their hand out in any circumstances.
You have a choice on who is in your five. You are worthy of big dreams, and you are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. If you do not have that support and circle you need, then you should know that you are always welcome here.
