I am scared of not being good enough. I am afraid I won’t be good at that. I will fail. I will fall. I will make a fool of myself. I am afraid I will upset others. I may not be smart enough. What if I can’t complete the race? What if I can’t make the jump? What if I do not close the deal? Am I messing up my kid? Am I destroying my career? Am I throwing away my future?
If I were a betting person, I would bet you’ve had one or all of these thoughts enter your mind. We all face the inner demons of FEAR and FAILURE, and the damage they do to our psyche, and, by extension, our actions. I have, and admittedly still have, every single one of these fears. Mostly, it’s the fear of failure. These two voices ring loudly in my ears. I have spent years in a UFC match with my inner self trying to destroy them until one day, I quit. Maybe fighting your fears isn’t the answer, maybe it’s becoming friends with them.
Hear me out… Here are a few things that I found that worked for me and are still an everyday practice in my life. Maybe one will stick for you.
- Start your day by conquering one hard thing. Pick one thing you don’t want to do or scares you just a bit. This can be exercise, reading, making your bed. Make it simple. Start every single day doing something hard, and you will see that small step towards building momentum in your day. Facing the hardest thing first makes the rest of your day seem easier. There’s a saying “eat the frog first thing”. It works. Quit whining and feed your momentum.
- When faced with a fear, instead of listing off all the horrible things that can happen, I want you to write a list of the best things that can happen. Write down how you will feel when everything goes your way, what amazing things you’ll experience, who will benefit, who will you serve. Let this fuel your thoughts instead of the opposite. This is called manifesting. It works.
- Embrace the suck. Here’s a nasty little secret no one wants to admit, some days the fears win. Sometimes the failure wins. Some days, some wonderful days, you take a step out in faith and you win. Those are the moments it’s all worth it. Relish in it. Document it.
Become friends with your fears and recognize they will visit you some days. Some seasons they will set up camp for an extended, unwanted visit. And some days you won’t notice you haven’t heard from them in months. This is the journey to finding success in your everyday life. You are meant to do the hard the things, you were built to last through the bad days. I assure you – you will fail. So what? Tomorrow will come, and you will rise to meet the day by starting with the hard thing. My hope for you, is you stack those days together over the years to look at a life well-lived with intention. Sit down and pour a glass of wine for your friends, Fear & Failure, and embrace them.
