“I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullsh*t.”
-Elizabeth Gilbert “Eat, Pray, Love”
In “I Declare War,” Pastor Levi Lusko writes that we can not live right until we begin to think right, a sentiment I echo daily to clients working towards building healthier lives. As we wind down the year where so many people begin their quest for “better” (resolutions that often center around weight loss and wanting to change their bodies), I wanted to share the success story of Nichelle Ezell and what it took in her life to create sustainable, lasting change – as well as the newfound passion she picked up in the process of creating a new lifestyle. She shares her story as well as advice on the work it took her to accomplish her goals.
Fact: Early Childhood Experiences Factor into How We Approach Life as Adults
“How one handles success or failure is determined by their early childhood.”
-Harold Ramis
Nichelle spent her early childhood years in Arkansas, relocating to Paducah at the age of seven after her parents’ tumultuous divorce. Twenty-one years later (with the help of a counselor), she was able to connect an awareness around the personality traits that developed out of “survival mode” – a way of dealing with too much stress placed on her at too young of an age. People pleasing, putting others’ needs ahead of her own, avoiding conflict at all costs were coping mechanisms that influenced her mental and physical health throughout her life.
FACT: YOUR ENVIRONMENT AFFECTS YOUR BEHAVIOR
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” -Jim Rohn.
Audit the people around you. Make sure you’re spending time with people who are in line with what you want for your own life (preferably people “better” than you, so it raises your average). Nichelle had an amazing college experience with some of her closest friends. However, moving back from Lexington, she soon became unmotivated, away from her circle, and plagued by that same unhealthy mindset. While loved ones and family members suggested counseling multiple times, she had yet to find herself ready to tackle thoughts and emotions that she’d tried for so many years to bury.
FACT: YOU CAN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU REFUSE TO CONFRONT
“Run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal.”
-Cheryl Strayed
Although a change in careers gave Nichelle a new routine, she continued to wrestle with depression and a general sense of unhappiness in her life. She found a brief reprieve in preparation for her best friend Samantha’s wedding. In spite of always having a self-concept unrelated to her size, she had a strong desire to “not be the big girl standing at the front of the church.” She spent hours on the treadmill and attended twice-weekly sessions with a personal trainer, resulting in a sixty-pound weight loss at the time of the wedding. While she celebrated the change in her appearance, having never resolved that internal conflict meant she reverted back to the same “safe” place and ended up gaining the weight back.
FACT: HEALTH AND WELLNESS IS A FULL INTEGRATION OF PHYSICAL, MENTAL, AND SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING.
“For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’”
– Jeremiah 29:11
As Nichelle grew closer in her relationship with the Lord, she began to feel a prompting that the happiness she longed for was worthy of the difficult work required of her. The strength she sought to tackle some heavy things in her life she now found in Him. What she didn’t fully realize was the truly mysterious ways the Lord works, for it was at this time she agreed to accompany Samantha to a personal training session. She had no specific goals when we all started working together last October. Once I saw the raw strength she had, I quickly introduced her to a barbell-and she was instantly hooked. When you teach clients the posture, strength, and timing required to hold and then move a heavy barbell – they become grounded in their bodies. As her strength grew, so did her confidence in her abilities – always a magical part of my job. In January of this year, Nichelle made her first appointment for counseling as she began to do the internal work. The girl who started this journey claiming she couldn’t squat due to knee pain is now down(almost) sixty pounds and squats 275 pounds, but more than anything, I am just so proud of the passion she now has in her life. While she has yet to write the ending to this story, she now celebrates a life in which she feels equipped to handle anything.
